I’ve been told I’m a pretty risk averse person. So, inviting a guy I just met to join my solo road trip to Maine wasn’t exactly ordinary.
However, I was feeling daring and the promise of exploring new destinations together while creating unforgettable memories seemed irresistible.
Despite us now being together for three years, I learned that traveling with a new partner is a complex and challenging endeavor to take on. Even with most of the trip planned out beforehand, a fair share of challenges arose. Today, traveling with a new partner is a decision that I wouldn’t make again without careful consideration.
Here’s why I won’t be traveling with a new partner again:
Traveling With a New Partner Is Stressful
Traveling can undoubtedly be a source of stress. At times, it also has the uncanny ability to reveal the worst side of people. Therefore, it becomes crucial to understand how your new partner handles the stress of travel before embarking on a trip. Especially when you’ll be confronted with numerous unfamiliar situations and unknowns.
In our case, I had taken the car to get a head start on the trip. My new partner, who planned to meet me in Maine, was flying in a few days later. His flight was delayed, causing me to shift my day’s plans. In doing so, this led to me nearly getting a parking ticket when I pulled over in an unfamiliar area to look for alternative things to do to kill time. From its start, traveling with a new partner really tested my patience. Had we been two other people, it could have easily been the worst trip either of us had ever taken.
Traveling Is Expensive
When you’re traveling with a new partner, or anyone else for that matter, there is often a shared financial responsibility that comes into play. Splitting the costs of accommodations, meals, and activities can be tricky, especially if your budgeting styles and spending habits differ. Money matters can quickly become a source of tension, leading to conflicts that put a strain on your budding relationship.
Furthermore, budgeting and planning a trip with a new partner requires a high level of trust and transparency. It’s essential to have open and honest conversations about individual financial situations, expectations, and limitations. Unfortunately, these discussions can be uncomfortable and awkward, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. The stress and pressure associated with money matters can overshadow the joy of travel and hinder the overall experience.
In my case, I was already planning the road trip to Maine. I already paid for accommodations and transportation before inviting my new partner. Plus, I was more than ready to shell out the additional cost of meals and activities for the both of us, had it been necessary, despite us agreeing beforehand that we’d split these expenses 50/50.
Your New Partner’s Travel Style May Not Align With Yours
The reality is that different people have different travel styles. You want to make sure that your new partner’s travel style matches yours before committing to a trip together.
For instance, I am an early riser who loves to make the most of the day, embracing the morning sunlight and getting an early start on exploring. However, my new partner is a night owl, finding his energy and inspiration in the late hours, often staying up well past 3 AM. This difference in our sleep schedules and daily rhythms became apparent during our first trip together to Maine.
I quickly realized that compromising my sleep habits and adjusting my daily activities to accommodate his late-night preferences was challenging. It meant sacrificing the early morning adventures and peaceful moments I treasured. Instead, I found myself navigating through the fatigue and longing for a good night’s sleep. The misalignment in our travel styles became a source of tension and frustration.
Had we known each other better, we’d have planned a more harmonious travel experience from the start.
Traveling Is Physically Demanding
Traveling is physically demanding, and it’s essential to consider your physical abilities and preferences, as well as those of your new partner, before embarking on a journey together.
I was lucky in the sense that when I was traveling with a new partner, both our fitness levels and stamina aligned. We had been on a short hike before this trip, so I knew we both enjoyed long walks and hiking adventures. (Opposed to a more relaxed approach.)
We hadn’t discussed much about our expectations and activity levels beforehand. Had we been misaligned in this area, the trip would have been miserable for us both.
Travel Requires Respect
Respect is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, and it becomes even more crucial when traveling with a new partner. The exposure to different perspectives, cultural backgrounds, and personal preferences can create unique challenges and potential conflicts during a trip.
If you or your partner don’t have respect for these things, it can lead to negative interactions, strained relationships, or even legal consequences.
I was particularly annoyed when my new partner took forever to get ready in the morning. This caused us to check out of our Airbnb 15 minutes later than when we should have. He didn’t respect our plans for the day by waking up late. Nor did he respect that I could be charged more for our stay due to his negligence. We ended up not having to pay for the late check out, but it made me realize that a good trip can be tainted in a matter of minutes.
Traveling Can Be Dangerous
On a similar note, traveling can put you in dangerous situations. It is important to ensure that your new partner takes your safety seriously and demonstrates a responsible mindset. This includes being attentive to your surroundings, preparing for emergencies, and making informed decisions to minimize risks. They should show a willingness to follow safety guidelines, adhere to local laws and regulations, and take necessary precautions in different situations.
Remember, prioritizing safety is not a sign of fear or mistrust, but a responsible approach to safeguarding your well-being.
Traveling With a New Partner Requires Spending A LOT of Time Together
Spending a lot of time together in close quarters puts a strain on any relationship, but especially when you’re traveling with a new partner. It often comes with sharing accommodations, such as hotel rooms or Airbnb rentals, which leave little room for privacy. You want to make sure that your relationship can handle it before committing to a trip together.
You may wish to establish boundaries early on to ensure both you both have opportunities to recharge. Or, find time for personal activities and alone time when it’s needed. If you don’t, well, you’ll soon find that things like toothpaste left in the sink or the unflushed toilet are suddenly a really big deal.
Travel is Unpredictable
One thing that holds true for any traveler is that travel is inherently unpredictable. No matter how meticulously you plan your trip, there are always factors beyond your control that can disrupt your plans or introduce unexpected challenges. It’s important to approach these situations with flexibility, adaptability, and a positive mindset. Having a new partner who has experience with these things can help make overcoming the situation all that more smooth.
From flight delays and flat tires to unforeseen weather conditions, there are numerous factors that can disrupt your plans. If you and your new partner have different approaches to dealing with this unpredictability or struggle to find common ground when faced with challenges of travel, it can create tension and strain on your relationship. Things like compatibility, adaptability and open lines of communication may not yet be established, making the relationship doomed from the start.
Alternative Approaches to Traveling With a New Partner
While there are valid reasons why I won’t be traveling with a new partner again, it doesn’t mean that traveling with a new partner has to be completely off the table. Yes, traveling with a new partner has its benefits, too. But, here are some alternative approaches to consider when embarking on a journey with someone new:
- Start with shorter trips: Instead of diving into a long, immersive travel experience, choose a destination close by for a shorter trip.
- Take a joint day trip: Test the waters by going on a day trip together to a nearby destination.
- Plan a shared interest trip: Choose a destination or activity that aligns with both of your interests to create common ground and a shared purpose
- Prioritize open communication: Before and during a trip, have open and honest conversations about expectations, preferences, and concerns. Discuss travel styles, budget, and potential challenges to ensure you’re on the same page and can find compromises, if needed.
- Take turns planning: Alternate the responsibility of planning and organizing aspects of the trip. This way, both partners can contribute their ideas and preferences, ensuring a balanced and collaborative approach to travel.
- Allow for personal time and space: Plan activities or moments where each person can pursue their own interests or have alone time to recharge. This helps maintain a healthy balance and respect for individual needs.
- Be flexible and embrace spontaneity: While it’s important to have a general plan, leave room for spontaneity and unexpected discoveries to reduce potential conflicts that may arise from rigid expectations.
The Takeaway
Remember, every partnership is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. It’s essential to listen to your instincts, communicate openly, and make decisions that align with your personal comfort and compatibility. By taking a thoughtful and flexible approach, you can navigate the complexities of traveling with a new partner with tact.
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